Where Did My Spirit Guide Go?

This is always a hard topic for me to write about. My own inner critic still whispers into my ear, “People are going to think you’re crazy.” Something else always whispers back, “Yeah so? Do it anyway. Someone has to answer their questions.” The question I keep getting from my readers is a version of “Where did my spirit guide go? Why can’t I connect with my angels anymore? How come I can’t hear them? Have I done something to upset them?” From what I can tell, it’s been about a year now that everyone’s been having a hard time connecting to their guardian angels. Why?

There are a lot of people channeling stuff about this topic. I am forbidden to read it. That’s probably not the right way to say it. Originally, I was guided by my spirit guides to read everything I could get my hands on about angels, fairies, and spirit guides. It was one of many topics that they insisted that I needed educated about. Yes, they even had me read about aliens, but it was just a tiny bit and only at the very end. They gave me some theories to chew on and had me write about all of it in my book Voices. About two years before writing that book, they suddenly quit guiding me towards reading and research. I used to spend hours and hours researching and reading about spirituality and guides and such. Now, I’m not supposed to read anyone else’s stuff. They say that I have to write from my own experiences and by not reading anyone else’s work, there’s no chance of just regurgitating the same old stuff that everyone else is writing. They say that if you read too much of other people’s stuff, you forget to think for yourself. Still, I am aware that plenty of people are writing about who the spirit guides are and why they have been so hard to reach over the last year or so. What I don’t know is what they’re saying.

So, what do I know about the topic? I know that I am one of the first to go through things and that about the time I figure it out, a bunch of others will begin experiencing whatever I just did. Lonely, but it makes sense in the big picture. I personally went through a rather bizarre experience with them in June of 2003 and ever since then my world has been forever changed. This is going to sound really stupid but it’s kind of like being a part of the Borg on that old Star Trek series. I have been assimilated. I can’t tell you where they end and I begin. It used to be that there was a definite difference between my own personal thoughts and them speaking to me telepathically. They felt like something separate from me. It’s just not that way anymore.

Prior to that experience, I had been given an assignment and had argued for years that I wasn’t capable of doing it. My own inner critic had kept me from fulfilling my spiritual calling. Like so many of you, I was addicted to my spirit guides. I leaned on them for everything. I needed their reassurances constantly. I felt so alone without them. The nature of the human experience is to be locked away all alone behind a set of eyes that observe the world. We spend so much time trying to reach out to others in a hope that someone will find us inside these prisons that we call bodies. We want so desperately to be loved for who we really are deep down inside. The spirit guides know us, really know us, and love us completely. I withdrew from society and from life here in an effort to stay completely connected to them. They love me even when the real world doesn’t. To make me step out of my safe haven with them, they gave me an ultimatum. If I didn’t begin writing and telling these stories, they would leave me completely. I didn’t believe them. They withdrew. I began writing the book they wanted written. It took me two years to write it. They never spoke a word the whole time. The day I finished writing it, they came back only to assimilate a few months later.

Since the assimilation, I am no longer in a prison, locked inside my head, trapped behind a pair of eyes. I have become so much bigger then my body can hold. My most passionate thoughts always come true now. I am one of them.

What does this have to do with you and your spirit guides? I feel that I am supposed to ask you to look within yourselves. Are you addicted to the angels? Have you replaced real interpersonal connections with the spirit connections because they are safer and easier to love? Have you been shown a spiritual calling that you are not following? Have you done what you came to do? Are you hanging onto your mommy’s apron strings like a frightened child? Have you been cut loose because you need to learn to think for yourself? Live for yourself? Be spiritual for yourself?

No they have not left you, they have simply kicked you out of the nest, so to speak. It’s time for you to learn to fly on your own wings. Quit holding on to your angel’s wings and trust the angel spirit within yourself. They were never here to baby-sit us, only to be our cheerleaders and teachers. Once you learn to take that leap of faith and that you really won’t fall flat on your face, you will experience freedom unlike anything I can describe. You will find that you are ready to assimilate. You too will realize that you are the angel. You are the spirit guide. You are unconditional love. You will no longer be trapped behind a lonely pair of eyes.

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