Do you like
this article?
We send out articles like this one in our free weekly newsletter. The newsletter is written to motivate, inspire, educate, and entertain you.
To sign up, send us an email to Subscribe@TomorrowsEdge.net with the words "free motivational newsletter" in the subject line. We will be happy to add you to the list.
The author,
Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.
The Domino Effect
It wasn’t all that long ago that people rarely gave themselves permission to do anything for themselves. They stayed in bad marriages because the church and their communities would ostracize them for having a divorce. They set aside personal dreams to toil away at the family business. Men would hear such things as, “Your father was a doctor, his father was a doctor, his father before that was a doctor, and all the way back through seven generations the men in our family have always been doctors, so you will be a doctor too.” Women would silently suffer through all sorts of abuse rather than shame their families by speaking out against those who would do such things. They would work hard, sacrifice much, and never do anything to shame the family honor. They weren’t really all that happy, but they had things mapped out for them and the rules were very clear.
As with all things human, the pendulum did swing. And it swung hard in the opposite
direction. An entire generation grew up being called The Me Generation. The meaning
of life became a personal quest for personal happiness, personal fulfillment, personal
satisfaction, personal journeys, personal needs, and personal goals and dreams. To
love someone meant to support them 100% in anything they wanted to do, even if it
was bad or wrong. ‘Unconditional love’ because the pop phrase to describe the concept
of ‘no matter what I do, you have to love me or else you are unenlightened.’ Individual
self-
Personally, I’m sick of it. I’m tired of listening to older generations whine about having to be unappreciated martyrs and younger generations expecting to be handed everything on a silver platter. It’s time for balance. Somewhere in between doing everything for others and doing everything for yourself, there has to be a place of true inner peace. In between focusing on ‘you’ and focusing on ‘me’, there has to be a ‘we’ that makes more sense. No man is an island. Even a hermit’s decisions and choices affect everyone who loves him and everyone who needs him.
If you decide to be a high school drop out and a drug addict, nobody can stop you. You don’t want to mess with having to work too hard to make something of yourself, because you would rather just hang out doing nothing all day? You want to hide away in a cave and avoid humanity because they are all a bunch of messed up losers anyway. It’s your prerogative to become anything you set your mind to. I am the first one to tell you that you should be allowed to live your life any way that you choose. But don’t lie to yourself that you aren’t hurting anyone but yourself. You are hurting everyone who loves you. You are hurting everyone who was supposed to be touched by you and your special gifts.
You have a gift to give to the world and you can give it or your can throw it away, but don’t think that you are the only one effected by that decision. Every person on this planet who was meant to be motivated, encouraged, and helped by the beauty of your soul is effected by you not showing up. Choosing to be a deadbeat is selfish and cruel. There are people who need you and you are turning your back on them, and for what? For the right to thumb your nose at society. Did you ever think that maybe that is why you are here – to become the solution, the cure to the ugliness that you see around you? Someone has to look at it and acknowledge it before it can be addressed and fixed.
If a parent makes the decision to be successful and wealthy, their children are affected by it. They are affected by the wealth, the way people treat them for being the child of a wealthy successful member of the community, and by the amount of time and focus a parent has to put into achieving that level of success. In the same manner, a parent who chooses to live as a drunk and a stoner role modeling addictions and poverty to their children have a huge effect on the way the world views those kids. Is it the child’s fault their folks are flakes? No, but those kids are going to be treated badly nevertheless. Right or wrong, we are judged by who our families are and by what they do. What you do effects how your community will treat the rest of your family.
If you decide to quit dating because it is just too darn hard to find the right one
– or -
If you are an employee who only does the bare minimum it takes to keep from getting fired, you aren’t just hurting yourself. You are hurting the company. You are hurting the people who have to go in behind you and work extra to finish the work you didn’t bother to do. You are hurting the children and spouses of those people who have to work late because you can’t be bothered to do your best.
Yes, you have a right to live your life any way that you please. You have a right and an obligation to yourself to find personal happiness and fulfillment in your choices. But you also need to remember that we are all interconnected and when you slack off, intentionally fail, or give up… you are creating a domino effect and it does effect everyone that you come into contact with, everyone they come into contact with, and everyone that you were meant to come into contact with. Nothing you do is ever really personal. Your personal happiness and the happiness of those around you lies somewhere in between martyr and spoiled brat. Find your place and you’ll find your peace.
Copyright 2005, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge