answers these questions
answers these questions
answers these questions
A collection of 40 essays.
Upbeat and motivational.
A variety of topics.
Please tell your friends about our website...
Our goal is to help you find the inspiration, motivation, and/or peace of mind that may have eluded you.
Articles about Friendships,
Parenting, the Magic of Children,
and Family Dynamics
Most parents worry that they might not be doing a good enough job of raising their
children. It’s perfectly normal to wish for a magic wand to wave over our children
These articles are not just about spiritual parenting, but all the various family dynamics that play into our lives. How we get along with our own parents can be just as stressful as how we get along with our children. Our family ties can inspire and lift us up to become more than we think we are capable of or they can tear the very fabric of our hearts to shreds. Quite often our children are our greatest teachers and can show us the way to making peace with our own parents.
If you like these articles, check out our free weekly newsletter, Looking Up Newsletter.
Click on the article titles to read more...
Yesterday was the last day of ‘Who Cares?’ for my oldest child. Today is his first
day of high school. From now on, his choices will have a long-
It wasn’t seeing you graduate from high school a couple of weeks ago that got to me. It wasn’t your eighteenth birthday last winter. It crept up on me while listening to old songs from the 80’s over the last week. Music can so easily take us back to that place and time when we first fell in love with a song. I have been reminiscing about my own transition from high school student to college student and remembering those years of rebellion and the exhilaration of knowing that I was all grown up and that I could do whatever I wanted and that nobody could boss me around anymore. Remembering how foolishly I handled my first years of adulthood made me realize just how grown up you are now.
What does it mean to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? It means that
your spirit is bigger than your body. It means that no matter how perfect your life
is in this moment, that soon a small voice will begin to haunt you asking, "Is this
it? Is there nothing more?" It is not that you feel entitled or that you are selfish
and gluttonous. It is the fact that your body is incapable of maintaining a state
of contentment no matter how much your mind might think that you are being illogical.
Your body is stir-
How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don’t really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.
Today, I cursed my children. I did what mother’s have been doing since the beginning
of time. Did Eve say it to her boys? “When you grow up, I hope you have a kid just
like you!” My stepmother said it to me and at the time, I thought she was being
silly. After all, what could be more delightful then raising kids just like me?
I was a smart well-
It is one of the most difficult things you will ever do and it is one of the most rewarding things. At some point, you will decide that what you are experiencing is not what you want for your children. You will want to raise them differently from how you were raised but you probably will not have a clue how to make that happen. What has to happen is rather simple, but takes such amazing commitment, that you will think you must be doing it wrong.
My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD years ago. It has been a journey to say the least. My youngest is just starting kindergarten and shows much worse signs than his older brother did at the same age. And so, we get to do this one more time.
As a mother, I feel that it is my duty to look out for the needs of each individual
in the family. I believe that no one person -
This statement has stopped many a war in my house. My oldest two children are two years apart in age and would fight about everything and nothing when they were little. One would anger the other and then deny that it ever happened. One would accidentally harm the other during play and not want to accept responsibility for the other’s anger. Seldom did a day pass by that one of them was not screaming at the other for some horrible crime. It never failed when I would be brought in to mediate, they would both claim they were innocent and the other was bad. How many times did one of them try to convince me that the other was lying and just trying to frame them for a crime they did not commit. What’s a parent to do?
Ten days after my daughter turns 18, my mother will turn 60. And two days after
that, I will be 43. Neither my mother, nor my daughter ever thinks about things
like personal growth and self-
We call him the Buddha Napoleon. Anyone who has ever lived with a two-
We as parents naturally want to do what is best for our children. We want to keep them safe and out of harms way. One of the best ways to insure that your child is as safe as humanly possible throughout their lifetime is to instill certain philosophies of life into their consciousness at a very early age. It is a proven fact that by using consistent daily patterns of behaviors and expectations, we can systematically program our children’s minds to follow the path that we have deemed best for them.
Honey, I know that you wish that I did not have to work. I know that at three-
I had been fighting with the software program that I used to build my website. The software program had a bug in it and would occasionally anger the main brains of my computer. Without warning, my computer would lock the program shut and forbid me to enter the website’s file. I never knew from day to day which time I saved the file and closed it would be the last time I’d be able to open it. It didn’t happen very often, but when it happened, it was like the file no longer existed. My computer had put an invisible prison wall around it and I was no longer allowed to enter in and work within the file. I would have to recreate the website from scratch every time this happened.
What do you do when your child begins talking to some unseen entity? How do you determine if it is a psychic event, an imaginary playmate, or some sign of a mental health issue? You want to handle things in a way that is best for your child and of course in a way that is not going to harm them in any way. You also want to make sure that you speak from a spiritual belief system that you can believe in. Your child will know if you are uncomfortable with the topic or if you do not believe in what you are saying. They will also be able to tell if you are scared or threatened by the subject matter. You will need to fully research the concepts and choices before saying something that you might later regret. The first response should probably be no response. After all, it may just be a fabrication to gain attention. Kids do that.
Years ago, when my oldest boy was quite young, he tickled my mother with that phrase. I would ask him, “What’s the matter?” and he would answer me, “Well, what the matter is…” followed by whatever it was that he needed to discuss with me. He would say it with that very serious face that small children get when they are expecting us to take them seriously. We all loved the cute way he prefaced his concerns.
Sacred Children Series:
Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of “magic” as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come across many metaphysical teachings woven throughout most of the different religions. It was very important to me that they stay authentic and real. I did not want them to ever allow anyone to convince them to be something other than the beautiful souls they already were. They took to the metaphysical teachings quite easily and naturally. Often they already knew whatever it was I had thought I was going to teach them.
I had visions of my daughter for about five years before she finally showed up. She turned out exactly like the little girl in my dreams who had haunted me all that time. I was so very glad to see that she was alive and real. I always thought she must somehow be more magical and special then other normal kids.
I had my first two children on either side of my twenty-
With that all-
Studies have shown that many of us are predisposed to addiction. Sometimes it shows
up as a family problem with alcoholism, cigarettes, overeating, or as actual illegal
drug usage. Whether a family has challenges with one of these addictions or a combination
of them isn’t really the point of this article. If your family history shows a problem
in one of these areas, then your teenagers have a good chance of turning out the
same. Even if you are sober but your parents have a history of alcoholism, your
child will most likely carry the genetics of such a tendency. What can you do to
help your teens stay sober especially during the party years between fifteen and
One of my long time best friends called me with a horrible pain in her heart. She needed someone to talk to. Rumor had it her daughter might be suicidal and she was trapped on a business trip until the next evening. Her husband was home handling the situation, but she was not going to be okay until she could hold her daughter close. She needed to look deep into her daughter’s eyes to get a ‘read’ on what was really going on inside her mind. Until she could really sit down and talk to her daughter, she could at least pick my brain as to what to do. We talked a bit about when we were seventeen, and I tried to commit suicide. Now, all these years later, what could I say to my friend or to her daughter to make it all better?
My oldest boy is fifteen and was a real jerk about a month ago. He had gotten pretty full of himself and acted like he was too cool for the rest of the family. Pretty typical teenager behavior, but I didn't like it. I had gotten to the end of my patience with him and laid into him about how lousy it felt to be treated that way. We ended up in a huge fight. He argued that he wasn't acting any different than normal and that I was just choosing to see things negatively. So, I laid out numerous examples of his selfish "me me me" behaviors without stopping to take a second breath. He hates it when I go off like that, but once he was ready to really talk, I came down off of my soapbox. He was close to tears. Apparently, I'd hit a nerve. He confessed that his closest friends at school had been trying to tell him the same thing recently and he wasn't hearing them. Now he suddenly knew what it was they had been trying to say. He felt awful and began to make immediate changes in his behaviors towards others. He really hated the idea that he was hurting anyone's feelings by being cold and uncaring.
There is a Native American belief that before we are born, we choose our parents. It actually ties in pretty nicely with the reincarnation idea that we prearrange certain circumstances before each life so as to learn different lessons. Either way, our parents teach us so much more than they ever mean to. Through their choices, circumstances, faults, talents and ability to show their love and support, they mold us. If life is a rat race, then our folks determine what we come out of the starting blocks with.
When I was a small child, I had no idea that I had anything weird or funny looking
about me. My stepmother informed me one day when I was about eight years old that
they were considering having plastic surgery done on me. She went on to explain
Years ago when my teenagers were still very young toddlers, I used to devour stacks
of library books. I was trying to learn everything I could about parenting and how
to break the dysfunctional cycles of my own childhood. One of the books I came across
was about how to make sure your kids turned out to be super smart successful types.
I was not thinking that I would push them into becoming doctors and presidents so
much as I just thought that if they were really smart, then they would not repeat
my mistakes. The book was not at all what I thought it would be. It was not a step-
Ideally, we raise our children from the cradle to have a positive sense of self-
From the time they are little babies we have an obligation to pay attention. We
have to make sure that the house is baby-
In the quiet and stillness of my mind, I can hear my fortieth birthday breathing
down my neck. I know that in less than a year, I will have to turn around and face
the monster that has eaten up my youth and now expects something meaningful of me.
Thirty was the birthday that made me cry for lost beauty and sex appeal. I have
made peace with the aging facial features and sagging body parts even though they
are not my favorite aspect of having been on this planet for a whirlwind ride. For
me, forty is not about race cars and liposuction, although they are still on my to-
My desk sits in the middle of the dining room. From my chair, I can see the front door and entryway, the main entrance to the hallway, the kitchen, and of course the dining room. I can also see most of the backyard through the dining room window. I can hear almost everything that happens in both bathrooms because they share the same wall that my desk faces. There isn’t much that goes on in this house that I don’t know about. Anyone who has ever worked from home with a toddler understands this kind of set up. Yes, it would be quieter and more productive if I moved my desk into one of the other rooms and could close a door behind me. However, I picked this house because of the layout. I need to be aware of everything my toddler is doing while I pound away at my keyboard. It is not just for his basic safety, but also for the sake of my two teenagers. You see, my little darling has begun learning the fine art of lying. And the other kids are furious with him!
Zodiac Parenting Series
Aries is the sign of the entrepreneur. Think of those traits that make up a successful entrepreneur… they are bright and hard working, most comfortable working as a one man show, love to be the first to discover and present things to the world, and rarely allow others to dominate them. Now imagine these traits in a child. Your Aries child will most likely be energetic, innovative, and will have a deep desire to be #1 in life. Aries children remind me of a cross between Leos and Capricorns. They often have Leo’s need for the limelight and Capricorn’s workaholic nature. Like Leos, Aries are fire signs and are therefore very dynamic personalities with no desire whatsoever to be bossed around. While goats symbolize Capricorn, rams symbolize Aries. Both are strong climbers and will butt heads with you when provoked.
Whenever I think of Taurus, I think of Ferdinand the Bull. He prefers to sit peacefully in a beautiful field of clover happily munching away the hours. However, wave that red flag and he is charging with horns down at full speed like a locomotive. It is just as difficult to stop him once he has begun charging as it is to get him up out of the clover to begin with. Such is the case with your Taurus child. They will be a peaceful happy soul for the most part, but it will not take very long before you realize they are one of the most stubborn signs in the zodiac. Once motivated, they will work very hard and they seldom do anything foolish without thinking through the consequences first.
Two of my all-
Everyone always says that Cancer’s children are moody and they grow up to be moody
adults. I have to disagree. All of the Cancers that I have ever met were rather
stable emotionally speaking. They can be a bit volatile when they feel attacked
and they are like a lioness protecting those they love, but they are not moody while
doing so. They are not as short-
Leo’s children are much more sensitive then people think. They can walk around like little kings wearing crowns, but almost every Leo adult I have ever met is carrying around a deep haunting childhood wound. They are also more insensitive then people think. These same adults can write you off as a loser in a heartbeat and will probably never change their minds. Even if they did find out later that they were wrong about you, they would still blame you for having misrepresented yourself. Those Leos that are lucky enough to have happy healthy childhoods are incredible leaders with a charisma and charm that is unlike any other. How do you make sure your little Leo turns out well?
Virgo children are usually quite easy to raise. They are neat, organized, and have a gentle sense of humor that you will enjoy. They are rarely hateful and mean. They are so well behaved that I think most parents just sort of leave them to themselves since they are like miniature adults. One of the hardest things about being a really good kid is that you melt into the woodwork and nobody notices you anymore. Virgo children are seldom the in your face types, demanding that Mommy and Daddy ‘look at me, look at me!’ They are often the ‘goodly child’ hidden behind the more dynamic and boisterous children. We are so relieved to have the low maintenance Virgo child, that we often ignore their deeper emotional needs while we focus on our other children. Many adult Virgos have a quiet loneliness in their eyes that they pretend is not really there. However, it is there, and it effects many of their decisions and choices as adults. They will give and give of themselves without really allowing anyone else into their inner world, because they really do not know how to connect on a deeper level. They just know how to be the ‘good kid’ and from their perspective that means not needing anything from anyone.
People often think of Libras as soft gentle loving souls who simply want to shop, dine by candlelight, and talk your ear off. The truth is that Libra’s children are some of the kindest most diplomatic dictators you will ever meet. They fight for justice and will make sure that the underdog gets his day of glory. Libra is the personification of the concept ‘kill them with kindness’ and ‘honey attracts more than vinegar’. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your chatty Libra is an airhead. They are brilliant and often have a mission in mind. Yes, there are plenty of times that they simply want someone to talk to for companionship’s sake, but quite often they are analyzing how to improve the world around them.
Scorpios get a lot of bad press. They are vindictive, mean, and obsessed with sex. That’s not really fair. Scorpio rules the house of sharing. They are the stewards of sharing money, resources, love, and yes sharing each other’s bodies. It is their deepest most spiritual need to be completely connected, loved, and sharing from the depth of their soul. It is from this place that they are so easily hurt. Wounded Scorpios are a force to be reckoned with and yes, they are famously ruthless and cruel. How do you keep your own Scorpio child from becoming obsessive and mean?
When I was a young teenager, I was a natural leader of our group of girls who had all become friends. During our first year in High School, our group was split up over two different lunch periods with half of us going to the first lunch and half going to the second lunch. The group of girls who had a different lunch then my own had found a new hero. They talked about her constantly. She was smart, funny, exciting, enthusiastic, cheerful, clever, and extremely extroverted. They sang her praises constantly and being a very insecure teenage girl, I was a nervous wreck that they would love her more then me and would no longer look up to me as their leader. I was becoming more and more insecure that she would kick me off of my pedestal and take all of my friends away from me.
You don’t raise a Capricorn child; they have no need of parenting in the classical sense. Capricorn children are little old kings who cannot quite remember where they are or where they have placed their crowns. Being a Capricorn child is like being a brilliant adult and having partial amnesia, you know that you know everything about everything but you just cannot quite remember it at the moment. You do not want to let on to everyone around you that you do not have a clue what the adults are talking about, so you simply wing it and join in with the belief that any minute now you really will know what is being discussed and will not appear foolish or stupid. They walk around with their heads held high as if they have not lost their crown and soon enough, they become natural leaders.
So, you are raising an Aquarius child… boy do you have your work cut out for you! Aquarius children are ruled by the same planet that rules electricity and group activities. These kids are popular and funny. They are natural leaders not from a place of wanting to lead but from a natural charisma, that simply attracts followers. They are eccentric and pride themselves on being unique individuals. These are the kids who not only pull the household electronics apart just to see how they work but can also put them back together again. Do not be surprised if your vacuum cleaner or VCR works even better after they finish exploring the inner workings. Aquarius children are extremely intelligent and use that intelligence to create daily adventures for themselves. You had better be on your toes. This is not a mild mannered child content to sit sweetly by your side calmly coloring in their color books. This is an action packed fun filled adventure loving best friend to all children and animals that cross their paths.
In general, Pisces is misunderstood and ends up as a loner. They love people and
have a deep desire to connect on a spiritual soul-