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Looking Up Newsletter
Self-Esteem and the Entrepreneur
Isn’t it funny how people think that being self-employed is so cool? They think
that you get to take lots of vacation time and spend all of the profits. What they
do not realize is that you put in outrageous amounts of blood, sweat, and tears to
get there. They do not know that you have to take the blame for every single thing
that goes wrong. They do not know how many times you fell flat on your face before
making it work. They think that you simply come up with a cute little idea over
dinner one night and within a couple of months you are flying high living the rich
man’s life. The reality of the situation is very different. Statistics consistently
show that most successful entrepreneurs failed a handful of times before finally
finding that winning formula. It is during the failure years that you earn all of
those future vacations and big fat salaries. Delayed gratification takes on a whole
new level, doesn’t it?
One of the toughest things to learn during those failure years is the self-esteem
that comes with it. Self-esteem does not come from having everything come easily
and effortlessly. Real self-esteem comes from having worked yourself until you’re
almost in tears and then having someone tell you that you are working too hard and
ought to just quit. Real self-esteem is explaining to your folks for the umpteenth
time why you are still poor and struggling at self-employment instead of getting
a ‘real job’ and making lots of money as a salesman like your baby brother does.
Real self-esteem is deciding to learn from your mistakes instead of giving up and
quitting. Real self-esteem is being financially bankrupt and giving it another try
anyway, because you just know that this time you are going to make it all come together.
These are the types of events that form good businessmen. Ladies, you know I’m including
you in this too. Real self-esteem is when you tell your husband that you are not
going to give up on your silly little dream and that it is not just a stupid hobby,
it is your company and your career aspirations. These types of events give us the
backbone it takes later to be able to make the tough business choices that make the
difference between breaking even and making a profit. These types of events teach
you how to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Self-esteem is not having
to justify your business decisions. You know what is best for you and your company
and you really do not need anyone else’s blessing, approval, nor support. If you
cannot do it without someone cheering you, then forget it. It is not called other-esteem,
coach-esteem, or friend-esteem. It’s called self-esteem because you have to muster
it up all by yourself.
You do not have to have a lot of self-esteem when you launch into self-employment,
but you will learn it along the way or else you will never make it to that luxurious
lifestyle that keeps floating through your daydreams. To get started, you just have
to really believe in your product. Nobody can really be 100% positive that they
are going to succeed at their first attempt at self-employment. After you have had
a few years of failures and some successes, you start realizing that you actually
know a thing or two compared to the newbies coming into your industry behind you.
There will always be someone who knows more then you and someone who could learn
from your experience. Self-esteem comes from knowing that you can learn and that
you will continue learning until you get it right. Do not expect to feel perfectly
confident all of the time. It is all a big game and you have to find the rulebook
while trying to master the game.
I once opened up a fortune cookie while struggling with the decision of whether or
not to launch my own company or not. The message inside the cookie read, “The world
needs your gift as much as you need to give it.” That little fortune has since fallen
apart and been thrown away, but I always have a newly typed up version of it scotch
taped to my computer monitor. It has reminded me many times over, that I do this
not for the money, but because it is who I am. What else would I be doing if not
running this little company of mine?
Sometimes, we entrepreneurs keep going simply because it is who we are. We are a
different breed and it is part of how we define ourselves. The way that others are
musicians, or politicians, or teachers, or doctors at the very depth of their soul,
we are at the depth of our soul entrepreneurs. We must play at that particular game
because it is what we do. Sometimes we have a spiritual mission behind it, or a
vision of the world being better off for having purchased our environmentally safe
product, or a deep belief that people can be helped and nurtured by the services
offered by our company. It’s who we are; it’s what we do. Self-esteem shows up
later as a result of reflecting on just how far we have come in our attempts to accomplish
such an important goal.
Self-esteem is not knowing that you will succeed. It does not come from having all
of the perfect craftsman’s skills and the perfect level of education before starting
your own company. It is knowing that you can acquire whatever skills and knowledge
you do not yet possess. It is knowing that you are capable of working hard and tenacious
enough to see it through to the end. It is knowing that as much as you appreciate
the cheerleaders in your life, that you would keep going even if nobody else believed
in you. It is knowing that you do not know everything you need to know but that
you are capable of learning more. It is knowing that the world needs your gift as
much as you need to give it.
Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge
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