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Skye Thomas is available for life coaching.
Respecting Our Elders
In the quiet and stillness of my mind, I can hear my fortieth birthday breathing
down my neck. I know that in less than a year, I will have to turn around and face
the monster that has eaten up my youth and now expects something meaningful of me.
Thirty was the birthday that made me cry for lost beauty and sex appeal. I have
made peace with the aging facial features and sagging body parts even though they
are not my favorite aspect of having been on this planet for a whirlwind ride. For
me, forty is not about race cars and liposuction, although they are still on my to-
I have grown up hearing rumors that there used to exist a concept called ‘elders.’ Apparently, they were these wise kind caring elderly people who we could turn to in times of doubt for inspiration, lessons, and teachings that would help us to find our own way. These elders had wonderful stories that taught us to think about life lessons and how we would conduct ourselves. These elders were a source of unconditional love and wisdom. They held the stories of our families, our heritage, and of our societies. Elders were no longer in a position of power but they were still held in the highest esteem for they had survived life’s hardships and lived to tell the tale. They knew how things worked and why. They knew of the obstacles in our paths because they had walked those same journeys. I spent much of my youth searching for my own personal ‘elders.’ I never found them.
No offense is intended; it is just an unpleasant fact for most of my generation.
Those of us just now turning forty really do not have elders that we can turn to
for advice and direction. The generation in front of us was raised in a completely
different world than ours. Tell me Granny, how do I fix the ozone layer? Tell me
Grandpa, how do I keep my teenagers sober without beating the fear of a cruel angry
revengeful God into them? Go to a retired entrepreneur in his golden years and ask
him how to successfully design, market, and run an Internet based business. Yeah,
some of it is technology and a fast paced changing world. But there’s more to it
than that. There was a lot of alcoholism and self-
Turning forty does not make me an elder just yet, but I peer into the future and
wonder who will be the elders for this new generation of children growing up now?
Who will my grandchildren turn to for wisdom and guidance? Me, that’s who. What
kind of elder will I become? Will I be a bitter old woman sucking on my red wine
and grumbling about how things just keep getting worse? Will I be healthy and vibrant
or weak and brittle? Will my mind be active and full of up-
How we conduct ourselves as adults determines how the generations behind us view us. If the concept of ‘elders’ is to come back into our culture, then we are going to have to behave in a way that our young can respect us. As it is now, most of the youth in this country do not trust their political leaders, the media, their educators, or even their own parents to be intelligent, honest, and compassionate. If we are to be seen as ‘elders’ some day, then we must earn their respect today. Stories of our heroics, our integrity, and our tenacity will go far to earn their admiration and trust. I for one will do my best to become the ‘elder’ that I wish I had available to me during my darkest hours.
Copyright 2005, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge