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All Grown Up Now
It wasn’t seeing you graduate from high school a couple of weeks ago that got to me. It wasn’t your eighteenth birthday last winter. It crept up on me while listening to old songs from the 80’s over the last week. Music can so easily take us back to that place and time when we first fell in love with a song. I have been reminiscing about my own transition from high school student to college student and remembering those years of rebellion and the exhilaration of knowing that I was all grown up and that I could do whatever I wanted and that nobody could boss me around anymore. Remembering how foolishly I handled my first years of adulthood made me realize just how grown up you are now.
It seems like just last year that I brought home my baby girl from the hospital to
introduce to her big brother. And wasn’t it just last month that you were experiencing
your first heartbreak and I got to teach you about the incredible personal power
that can come from something as simple as a makeover? Has it really been eighteen
years already? Where did the time go? What happened to “Butterfly Kisses” and that
Pebbles Flintstone ponytail? Remember when I bribed you with pierced ears if you
would stop sucking your thumb for an entire month? Remember roller-
And look at you now, all grown up and making grown up decisions about grown up things. You seem so sure of yourself and so stoic as you enter the world of college, career planning, and résumés. You do not show any of the restlessness mixed with uncertainty that I felt at your age. In so many ways, you are already more grown up than I am now. I know that as we both age, the daughter naturally becomes the caregiver and the mother becomes the helpless one, but I really did not expect you to be my equal so soon. I am surprised at that part of me deep down inside that is so reassured that you are such a competent and independent young lady at such an early stage in the game of life.
I know that it is normal for parents to be proud of their daughters, but I find myself
getting misty-
I know you get tired of hearing me say this, but be careful when you are out there
in the world. Watch out for strangers, do not do anything that would harm yourself,
and don’t let people walk all over you. Remember to keep your eye on the long-
We mothers often curse our children with “When you grow up, I hope you have a child
just like you!” Today, I pray that you be blessed with a daughter just like you.
And yes, just between you and me, I hope your brothers end up with sons just like
them! How you survived growing up with those two tag-
Neither of us has ever been the sappy type dwelling on those Hallmark Greeting Card
moments, but today I find myself wondering if they have ever written a sappy enough
greeting card about how much mothers love their daughters to express how I am feeling.
I just keep misting up and remembering all of those darling moments we shared. I
will never forget the day you realized who Santa was. Or the night your brother
hid under your bed after we watched that scary movie and he scared the heck out of
you. Or the look on your face when you saw your beautiful self in the mirror ready
to go to your first formal dance. Or that day when I taught you how to stomp in
muddle puddles and you were so freaked out about getting dirty, until you relaxed
and reveled in it. Or when you came into the room not even two-
Someday when you are sitting in my spot and you are realizing that your own baby girl is all grown up and feeling sentimental about how quickly the time has passed… then you will finally know how I feel about this moment with you. Until then, you will just have to deal with me occasionally watching you and appearing to weep for no good reason. I am just so glad that I was so lucky to have been given the opportunity to be there to see your journey.
Love,
Mom
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