Kids Just Like You

Today, I cursed my children. I did what mother’s have been doing since the beginning of time. Did Eve say it to her boys? “When you grow up, I hope you have a kid just like you!” My stepmother said it to me and at the time, I thought she was being silly. After all, what could be more delightful then raising kids just like me? I was a smart well-behaved polite child. It was my siblings who were bad. I was a perfect child, or so I thought. As the years passed, I became quite the teenage rebel. I was not caught misbehaving as much as my sister and brother were. But that does not mean that I was following the rules. Looking back, I would kill my kids if they did some of the things I did!

I had always assumed that the reason my children were turning out so much like me was because I am the one who raised them. I had assumed that my teachings, my passions, my belief systems, my personality, and my overall approach to life could easily explain why all three of my kids are very much like me. Even the fact that they are all like me in different ways seems logical to me if I go with the idea that as each child tries to carve out their own niche in our family they would pick different aspects of me to emulate. However, here is a weird observation. When I was in elementary school, I decided that I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up so that I could cure cancer. I forgot all about that until years later when my son told me he felt that his life calling is to cure cancer and my daughter chimes into the conversation by claiming that her calling is to be a doctor. They agree together that he will find the cure and she will implement it. I did not tell them for a few years that I had always wanted to do both. Is there a Joan of Arc Complex gene to be found in our DNA?

I find it fascinating that my oldest son shows personality traits of his father even though he has not seen him since he was six weeks old. Who would think you could inherit the kamikaze daredevil stuntman gene? Have they isolated that piece of DNA yet? I can understand inheriting his dad’s overall body type and even his dad’s energy level. His dad may have had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and it does not surprise me that my son was tested for it. But what about the deep need to push one’s self through extreme sports? How can that be genetic? I can understand they are both natural athletes, but it is their similar need to climb high buildings and their similar love of jumping off of things and catching air that is somewhat eerie to me. I sort of understand them, just not how they turned out so much alike without knowing each other.

Don’t get me wrong; my oldest son is an amazing and beautiful blend of everything that was good and perfect about us as a couple and as individuals. He also has our biggest flaws too. Somehow, the combo is just like me… and just like his dad… and uniquely individual too. My son causes me to better understand his dad, and to better understand myself. In teaching him how to overcome his own personal challenges, I have to touch upon my own. What did I do at that age? What worked and what didn’t?

I am reminded of research done on twins separated at birth. They find them as adults and compare their life choices, lifestyles, personalities, everything. They find that the twins are often in the same types of careers, the same types of marriages, the same lifestyles, etc. It raises a lot of questions about which has more impact on who we become. The study is a Nature versus Nurture debate. You would think that who raises the child and how they go about raising them would have a bigger impact then genetics, but apparently there is some room for serious debate.

My own situation was such that I did not know anything at all about my biological mother until I was a teenager. It was such an eye opener to meet the other half of my genetics. So, that’s where my eye and hair color comes from. Had I known how much I am like my biological mother, I might have understood why my stepmother disliked me so much. I used to wonder what kind of person I would have been if my mother had raised me instead of my father. I think the journey would have been different, but I am pretty sure I would have ended up right here just as I am. Perhaps genetics plays a role in fate and destiny?

This all leads me full circle to cursing my own kids. I have a certain level of confidence that they will indeed have children just like themselves! Hah! I think that on some level they should seriously consider who they choose as spouses too. Think about it, your husband or wife’s mother wished it on them too… which means that when you have children with someone you are obligating yourself not only to your own mother’s curse but also to their mother’s curse!

I don’t know that it would matter if my real mother or my step mother had raised me, either way someone was going to make that curse and I was going to end up with these kids that are just like me! I am so blessed to have been so cursed! I bless you with the curse of your own children who will be just like you! May you see the beauty of who you are in your own child’s eyes! May your child teach you to love yourself, flaws and all, like you did for me.

Email this article to a friend, bookmark it, or

tell your social networks about it. Just click

on the “share” button at the top of the page.

Thank you for helping us to spread the word.