Focus Your Expertise

Yes, you are amazing, brilliant, and capable of multi-tasking to a fine art. You can do anything you set your mind to and you know that already. You have become a master of juggling multiple responsibilities and you seem to be fairly successful at just about everything you do. So why aren’t you making the big bucks? Where is all that abundance and prosperity that being so multi-talented should be getting you? You are going to hate my answer, but sit with it and you will see that it makes sense.

Here is a little secret to becoming wildly successful that most people do not know and do not want to believe. Most people are not capable of doing more than two things, sometimes three, really well. Before you start screaming at me, think about this… how many self-made millionaires are also workaholics? How many of them lose their marriages and/or their children, because their loved ones think that they love the company more then them? How often do you see someone in the building stages of their fortune, doing a really great job of anything else? Not very often. There is a reason that the old saying, “Behind every great man is an even greater woman” was so popular a few generations ago. In order for the man to be able to focus all of his expertise and energies into creating such a noteworthy career, he had to have a wife back home who took care of everything else for him. Teamwork is a powerful thing, and we can definitely get into debates over gender roles and such another time. For now, let’s stay focused on being focused.

Look at the woman who is an amazing wife and mother and keeps an immaculately clean house while doing so. If she is truly an expert doing an outrageously good job at raising her kids and having a well run home and family, she probably is not working on a career outside of the home. Look at the opposite. How many super successful career women feel deep down that they are really doing their best for their family? If they are, then chances are they have sacrificed by not demanding that they keep a picture perfect clean house. They may focus just on family and work and let the chores slide. Many single parents who are really working hard to earn an income to support their families are also working equally hard to make sure that their children are mentally and emotionally well off after the divorce. They put most of their focus and energy into those two areas and subsequently many of those people really do not have time to date and to give a new relationship the kind of serious attention it deserves? We have all seen the newly divorced parents who are so focused on their own needs to find a new partner and to let loose and play for awhile, that they blow off their kids and their careers. We cannot judge any of these people for the choices that they make. No one is right or wrong. It’s simply a matter of time and energy, you cannot do all things well and you cannot be all things to all people.

Does this mean that in order to become fabulously rich that we have to travel through life without family and friends? Without a social life or a hobby? Yes and no. What it means is that you have to take the time to set your priorities and be honest with yourself. How important is that money? How important are your children? Your marriage? How important is it to you to be elected into public office or to be a self-made tycoon? You have to really sit down with those answers and pick a couple of things to do extremely well. Then forgive yourself for letting the other things fall by the wayside. Remember that you do not have to choose to put making money above the other delights of life. Perhaps you will decide that your personal idea of prosperity is getting to dabble in many things. You can choose to do many things fairly well and be an expert in none. Your income will show that choice in that you will do fairly well, but you won’t have the great abundance and wealth that you might have been dreaming of before.

If you do have a family that will be deeply affected by your decision, then you should probably include them in the discussion. Do not decide by yourself that you are going to put your marriage on autopilot for a couple of years while you run off to make a ton of money assuming that they will wait around forever. If together you agree this is a sacrifice you are both willing to make for long-term wealth, then so be it. Teenagers will understand these sorts of decisions a lot better then toddlers will. If you have small children, I do not recommend putting your relationship with them on the back burner while you earn money. They will likely end up with some psychological issues around whether you loved them or money… and it will mess with their self-worth. If you are single and you have no kids, then you can simply pick a couple of things to seriously focus on and become so expert that you make some serious money for yourself.

It simply comes down to this -- experts earn experts’ wages. A jack-of-all-trades smorgasbord lifestyle means you get a little of this and a little of that. You get to meet a lot of different people and you get to play a lot. That can be a very rewarding and satisfying life. But there is rarely any money in it! If money is your goal, pick a couple of things that you love and do them really well, become the best of the best. Stay focused. Do not allow anything beyond your tight little priority list to distract you. Make peace with whatever you decide and have fun.

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