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Articles about Building
Quieting the Inner Critic
and Increasing Self-
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It’s more then just a bad hair day. Truth is, you don’t even care how your hair looks because everything that can go wrong is going wrong. It’s not like you created the problems yourself and are having to fix your own mess. That is easy enough to deal with. No, this is about those days when nobody takes you seriously, every light turns red when you are on a tight schedule as it is, and your spouse is in one of their darker moods. You drop your lunch in your lap and there is no way you can sneak back home to freshen up, the tax man just chose you for his next audit, and your sister calls to say she has a lump in her breast and is terrified to go in for a check up. Your boss tells you that you are doing an awesome job and deserve the pay raise you have asked for, but the company can’t afford to give it to you…. and you love your job too much to quit. You cannot seem to get through the red tape of a bureaucracy that holds some sort of power over your ability to succeed at your dreams. The computer system goes down at work and you cannot finalize a very lucrative time sensitive deal that you were trying to close. No matter what you do, everything around you just seems to be going wrong and you are continually finding doors slammed in your face, brick walls in your path, and glass ceilings above you. How do you cope? How do you get out of the crazy maze that has you feeling trapped, alone, and helpless?
Ten days after my daughter turns 18, my mother will turn 60. And two days after
that, I will be 43. Neither my mother, nor my daughter ever thinks about things
like personal growth and self-
You can spend years analyzing your old belief systems, categorizing which ones do and do not work for you, looking at how they came to be, and even assigning blame to various people, institutions, and circumstances that programmed you to think that way in the first place. In the end, what matters is not HOW you got these limiting beliefs or even WHAT they are, but WHY are you still holding on to them?
I hope you do. Sounds awful, I know. But I really think the best thing that can happen to you is for you to take a timid little leap and fall flat on your face. Then, I want to see you get back up, evaluate what you did wrong, and jump again. Keep on taking that leap of faith and learning from each and every mistake until you become used to jumping and used to falling. Then, you will get over the fear of falling and you will finally begin to concentrate on flying. I want to see you run with everything you have and dive into your dreams with so much passion and fire that you forget all about the possibility of failing. You will never find your wings until you do.
Expanding your comfort zone is not quite the same as building self-
What does it mean to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? It means that
your spirit is bigger than your body. It means that no matter how perfect your life
is in this moment, that soon a small voice will begin to haunt you asking, "Is this
it? Is there nothing more?" It is not that you feel entitled or that you are selfish
and gluttonous. It is the fact that your body is incapable of maintaining a state
of contentment no matter how much your mind might think that you are being illogical.
Your body is stir-
Most people do not even know they are doing it. Throughout the course of normal
conversation, they bombard themselves with negative self-
The inner critic is that voice inside your head that tells you that you are not good
enough, smart enough, talented enough, pretty enough, or strong enough. It nags
and natters at you to the point that your self-
Sometimes, for whatever reason, we give up and quit. Sometimes, we run out of resources or start up capital. Sometimes, our children, parents, friends, and loved ones need us during their time of crisis and we gladly put our dreams aside to rush to their aid. Sometimes, we are simply burned out and no longer feel motivated to take action despite still seeing the validity of the objective. Sometimes, we do not have the skills, education, or credentials that we need. Sometimes, we simply cannot do it alone and help is nowhere in sight. Sometimes, political powers make it very difficult for us to accomplish our goals because our aspirations conflict with their ideology. Sometimes, our competitors succeed at sabotaging our efforts. And sometimes, we feel like we do not have the strength to pick ourselves up one more time to keep moving forward, so we decide to just stay down for awhile while we catch our breath and regroup. We suspect that someday, somehow we will get back up on that horse again, despite feeling that right now in this moment, we just cannot go on anymore.
Achieving big goals and dreams always involves breaking them down into little do-
When I was ten years old, America celebrated it’s 200th Birthday. I told myself
that I wanted to live to be at least 111 years old so that I could see the tri-
Like many teenagers, my children think it would be cool to be on television and in the movies. Therefore, they both like to try out for roles as extras in commercials and various films when the opportunity shows itself. When we still lived in Oregon, my son tried out for a background role in a commercial promoting the Portland Trailblazers. As I sat in the waiting room waiting for him to finish his interview, I was amazed to see an elderly woman come bouncing into the office wearing the most outrageous costume. She was easily 70 years old. However, she had the energy of a 20 year old. She wore a flamboyant red hat and a crazy purple outfit. She had attached purple feather boas around the base of her blouse and around the cuffs of her pants and sleeves. She was like some kind of cartoon character right out of Tune Town.
Whether it is the other kids making fun of you at school, you just received a really
harsh performance evaluation from your boss, you got turned down by the girl you
asked out, or you did not get the job you interviewed for, rejection and criticism
hurts. I will not tell you not to take it personally, because it is personal. You
are the one who was criticized. You are the one who was rejected. No matter how
How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don’t really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.
Every good salesman knows that you must believe in your product or else be able to do a good job of acting like you do. It is no different whether you are marketing products, policies, revolutions, or people. Marketing is marketing. Overall, image and believability is king. So how does that play out when you are trying to market yourself?
It is one of the most difficult things you will ever do and it is one of the most rewarding things. At some point, you will decide that what you are experiencing is not what you want for your children. You will want to raise them differently from how you were raised but you probably will not have a clue how to make that happen. What has to happen is rather simple, but takes such amazing commitment, that you will think you must be doing it wrong.
We’ve all heard wonderful heartwarming stories of the underdog winning the day because
someone else believed in them so much that they were able to overcome their own self-
What is the difference between self-
Years ago while running an at-
To begin feeling that first spark of self-
My teenage daughter reminded me of something the other night. We were talking about
things that were going on at school. She is in a drama class and is one of the teacher’s
favorite students. However, when assigning roles for an upcoming show the students
are putting on, the teacher completely forgot to put my daughter on the list. This
was not one of those big school plays that students try out for and hope to get a
role. This was a mandatory class project and was the equivalent of their mid-
Today is an anniversary of sorts for me. Three years ago today, I publicly launched Tomorrow’s Edge after years of getting ready, talking about how I was someday going to do it, and researching everything but advertising! It was a huge first step in the middle of a bunch of first steps that I had taken up to that point. Naturally, it fell flat on its face because of my lack of education in the marketing area. So, here I am three years later, better educated, dusted off, boot straps pulled up, repeating that first step. I take a deep breath, psyche myself up, wiggle my toes a bit, bend my knee, lift my foot, and sit back down with another cup of coffee…. Maybe in a minute or so.
Getting the nerve up to ask someone to go out with you can be very difficult. There
are a lot more reasons to be afraid than there are for being brave. Many of us have
There was an article in the January 2005 issue of Scientific American entitled Exploding
Isn’t it funny how people think that being self-
There are many different aspects involved in creating our sense of self-
Ideally, we raise our children from the cradle to have a positive sense of self-
This article assumes that you have chosen a goal, dream, or task for yourself. You
may or may not have started implementing your step-
It may sound silly but the key to self-
I was about ten and a half years old when we celebrated the Bi-